We've been going pretty non-stop, trying to cram an entire bathroom renovation into a short amount of time (can't wait to show you how it turned out! It's beautiful!), while filming it and a few other projects for brands. Planning the cabin. Getting our home ready to host 30 people for Thanksgiving. Getting our gift guides ready and out before Cyber Monday (we still have two more to release!) and then my body just crashed. I got the worst flu I've ever experienced and have been trying to recover all week, so I apologize for some radio silence.
This week, Greta came home from school one day and said, "Mom? Do you believe in Santa?" Without hesitation, I said, "Yes!" and she said, "Good. Me too." Apparently, one of her cousins had mentioned that he didn't and I could see the first ounce of doubt in her eyes. I know every family has different thoughts and traditions on the subject, but I want to keep the magic alive as long as possible. I think my mom eventually broke it to me something like, "anyone can be Santa." I talked to a few girlfriends about the subject and one said that in her family it's "You only get presents if you believe in Santa." which I actually got a kick out of and love because then even the teenagers are saying, I believe! with a wink in their eye. And another friend said something similar to what my mom used to. How does it go down in your house? Does Santa bring the biggest gift? All the gifts? Just the stocking? Around here, Santa brings the gift the girls asked Santa for, but mom and dad usually top it with something they didn't even think of! ;) We're surprising the girls with a train ride on the Polar Express (in Heber City, Utah) this weekend and I can barely wait to see their reaction.
Other fun things this week!
• This looks like a really fun cookbook for movie lovers.
• I was feeling guilty about not getting my Christmas decor perfected and published on the blog this week, but then I read Stefanie's post about "slow decorating" and after I wiped the drool off my chin, I felt better. She's so good...
• I ordered these tortoise hoop earrings this week and can't wait to wear them every day!
• Are you a compulsive apologizer? (I am!) According to this article, "sorry" is the word you're never supposed to say to guests.
• On Meghan Markle's engagement (yup!!)
• Thanks for all the love on our gift guides up to this point! Your comments saying, "This is perhaps the most on-point gift guide I’ve seen! Perfect style! And actually things I want / could see myself gifting!" are exactly what we're going for and we make our gift guides around what we're actually gifting ourselves! We're excited to publish our gift guide for your parents/in-laws and home lovers next week, but in case you missed it here's the 2017 Gift Guide so far, including:
18 Gifts for Her
15 Gifts for Guys
15 Gifts for Kids
18 Gifts for Babies
15 Gifts for The Cook
Hilarious White Elephant Gifts
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
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I heard the sweetest story once about Santa and I can't remember all the details exactly...but it goes like this. At school one day, a boy was told that Santa wasn't real. He went home and asked his mom. She explained the secret that "anyone can be Santa" and now that he knows that secret, he gets to be Santa for someone. Starting with that Christmas and every year since, he picks someone to be "Santa" for (his brother, a neighbor, a friend, a teacher, a delivery person) and leaves them a gift "from Santa." So you see, Santa is real. :)
I'm a little sensitive about the Santa situation. I REALLY wish all parents would reinforce to their kids that not all homes are the same. If you want to tell your children that Santa brings their presents, great! But please also explain that that might not be the case for everyone else. That way when they hear other children talking about how their parents buy their presents, they can just say, ok cool! My children have always known that Santa doesn't bring them presents, but I'm also so very careful to say that I don't know what goes on in other people's houses. If your friends are talking about Santa bringing presents, then I guess he does! Cool! Let's teach our children that what happens in our homes has nothing to do with what happens in other homes, and that that's perfectly ok. I'm so over hearing parents complain that another child "ruined" Christmas for their child. If we teach our children to be secure in their beliefs, but also wildly accepting of others' beliefs, there will be no ruining of anything.
I just wanted to say: Hi, you're doing an amazing job. Thank you!
Overall, my parents always achieved the "Santa only comes to those who believe" mantra and we stuck to that fairly closely. I still tell my mother I believe when we discuss Christmas, cause a girl can always use some magic and use some presents, haha.
One of my most vivid memories as a child was a group of kids in elementary school arguing over the existence of the Easter bunny. One girl insisted the bunny was real, because on Easter morning there was a life-sized, bunny-shaped hole in their dining room window. I was absolutely convinced from then on. Also disappointed, because I was terrified of the mall Easter bunny (still am, he's petrifying) and I figured Santa wouldn't come to visit someone who was terrified of his homeboy.
To this day, I still don't know if her parents were really that dedicated to the magic or if she was lying through her teeth.
Hahaha, I love these types of vivid memories. My oldest sister STILL insists, regardless of what anyone says, Rudolph was outside of her window as a young girl.
On a year that we had clearly been watching too much Home Alone, my sisters and a family friend created "Santa Claus Capturers", a club devoted to determining once and for all if Santa was real! We put bells in our stockings (they hung in our rooms--not sure how we convinced my parents to let us do that) and created some other booby traps to let us know when we needed to sneak out of bed to see who was responsible for the gifts. It worked, and we caught our mom in action. My middle sister and I shared a room, and we made the decision not to tell our youngest sister to allow her a couple more years of magic. :)
I am a slow decorator...not really by choice, but I can not just say I’m on that trend! Love it!
And those earrings ????????????
When our son first started to question if Santa was real, we gave him the old "Santa is real for those who believe." This got us through at least one more Christmas, phew! However, by the next Christmas he was no longer a believer, this time telling us that he knew Santa was his mum and dad, but what he said next was the real shocker! When I asked him if he was sad that there wasn't a Santa, he said "no, not really, I'm just more sad that you lied to me all these years." Ha! Didn't see that coming!
My brother and I were born skeptics haha. The thought that anyone could sneak past our dad in the middle of the night was something that we just could not wrap our heads around, and then “Santa’s” handwriting was remarkably similar to my mom’s or my uncle’s. By the time we were in kindergarten, I’m pretty sure we had ruined it for a bunch of other kids haha.
When mine started questioning I turned it around on them and asked "what do you want to believe?" My eldest chose to believe for quite a while but my youngest wanted the truth, which honestly suited their personalities, lol.
Thank you again for the love! I totally get the guilt but I’m trying to flip the script. My house is still pretty bare.
Those earrings are going on my list. I love tortoise shell.
And I will cry like a baby when my daughter stops believing. Please let it be a good long while.
I have always heard "Santa is real for all those who believe." Dang it, I want to believe, so we do Santa here! :)
When we were younger, my parents never pushed Santa as a real person who delivered gifts, and were always honest with us when we asked. Their explanation was similar to yours; they told us that St. Nick was a real person, and that anyone can be Santa by spreading kindness, joy, and generosity. However, they did tell us that we were NOT allowed to spoil the magic for anyone else, and we always played along; most of the gifts for the whole family were "from Santa". A few years later, I also realized that "from Santa" was my mom's code for gifts she bought for herself - and now I do the same, haha!
I want my daughter to think critically and question things so since she's only 4 we go along with what she says about Santa but I don't really ever explicitly talk about Santa like he's real. If she ever asks me about it, I'm going to turn it around on her and ask her what she thinks and why. We'll see if that works out- hah.
As a kid I remember feeling foolish when I figured out he's not real. I also remember feeling grateful towards my parents for giving me gifts that I wanted (Santa filled stockings). So now I kind of think it's a strange tradition and not that magical.
"If you don't believe, you don't receive." That's my motto -- stolen from someone -- on the topic of the big jolly guy. My baby boy is months shy away from turning 13, and this is the first year that he really knows about the secret. The motto has helped him understand that nothing is really changing; there is still magic and surprises... it just comes in different ways.
PS. Six years later, your Alton Brown turkey redo is still my preferred turkey-baking method. Always a winner!
When my youngest was going into 5th grade I knew kids were talking and I was pretty sure my son still believed. I was afraid he would say be embarrassed in front of his peers so I decided if he asked me outright I would tell him the truth. Well, he did and I told him. The second it came out of my mouth I regretted it and wished I had handled it differently. Through giant tears he said, "so you and dad bought all those presents?". (Mom and dad gifted the practical things). Then he asked about the Easter bunny. It was a sad day but luckily he says he doesn't remember it at all! Keep the magic alive!
Santa just brought the stocking gifts, except for the year he brought sleds. We didn't really talk to our kids about Santa and try to build him up, because of some quote saying something like "if you don't lie to your kids about the small stuff, they will trust that you aren't lying about the big stuff". When our daughter lost her first tooth, a gold dollar appeared under her pillow. She was super excited, and then got a look on her face and asked, "Did YOU ever have a gold dollar?" I said yes, and she asked where it was. I hemmed and hawed, and she demanded, "Are you the tooth fairy?" I tried to get out of answering, but she is the most persistent kid in the world, so I finally asked if she'd be upset if I was. She said no, so I said yes and she responded delightedly, "Can I see my tooth again?!" So that was kind of it for imaginary beings in our house, because everything was shared with her younger brother of course. But I still remember him looking out the window one Easter saying, "I know the Easter bunny is a person, but I just don't know WHO." I loved that he thought it was some kind stranger or neighbor.
When I was 12 I told my mom I didn't believe in Santa anymore and I didn't want presents from Santa when I knew they were from her. Her reaction was a little sad, but accepting. Christmas morning I was seriously worried I wasn't going to get any presents. Imagine my surprise when I found a huge pile of presents for me by the tree all from Mrs. Claus. I still get a present from Mrs Claus every year and I'm now 37!
Aww. That is so sweet.
I believe in Santa! I have been waiting to see Preston's bathroom reno reveal...
We were raised Catholic, and I was the oldest so when I asked her about Santa being real, she didn't want me to ruin it for my siblings....or crush my little heart! She used a concept I had learned by that point about the holy trinity: mostly that like how the holy spirit can exist in the hearts of millions of people all at the same time, so can the idea of Santa. And that just like how you are letting the holy spirit shine through you by being a good person, when people pretend to be Santa, they are letting the joy and love of Christmas shine through. It was a concept I could understand, and it let me accept that mall Santas and parents and whoever could pretend to be Santa without really being deceitful. I'm not very religious now, but I admire how she thoughtfully handled the issue.
My mom was raise Catholic and explained it to us like that almost exactly.
Since we don't practice any religion in our house (released for good behavior mormon and catholic) our daughter has always been free to check out whatever interested her. However, I LOVE Christmas so I always focused on "The Spirit of Christmas, Goodwill Towards Men" aspect to fit our non-religious home, and I always went with the "Santa only brings gifts to those that believe" when the doubts started. She's now 17 and loves Christmas and The Spirit of Christmas too.
We did the Polar Express a few years ago with friends and I'll share our experience with you, for what its worth. It was freezing cold waiting outside for the train- we're having a record breaking heat wave lately so check the weather. Once we were on the train, which each car is separately heated by an old-timey stove, it got sweaty hot... not kidding, wet.armpit.hot (the train is antique, no opening the windows allowed). Layers donkey. The free hot chocolate was in a tiny cup, no refills... thank goodness one of us had the sense to bring a thermos or two full of love. Once the train was moving, the Polar Express book was read and done really quick, like 10 minutes into the ride. Then the divisive part of our journey began. If you're sensitive to high schoolers leading a train full of people screaming Christmas Carols at the top of their lungs in cheerleader fashion (which side can sing louder, lets sing/shout in rounds) you might want to have some earplugs, just in case. Most of the adults gave this part of the ride a low score, however the kids were in heaven and you'll for sure have an experience you'll NEVER forget!
Hahaha! This is an amazingly helpful review. We had no idea what to expect.
Great article from AT to confirm that 91% of people also want a large shower in the master bath!!!
http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/freestanding-tubs-are-the-bathroom-fixtures-worth-it-252274
I didn't know how to broach the Santa subject so I just started out from day 1 explaining who St. Nick was and what he stood for. My kids know that there are LOTS of Santa's all over the world who spread Christmas joy but that your parents are the ones who buy your presents. I wanted Santa to represent love, kindness, joy, etc. not presents..It has worked really well for us and my kids know that we don't share the secret with anyone else because every family believes in different traditions.
We have a 1 year old and while she's taking pictures with Santa this year. We have decided that Santa will exist as long as she wants to believe- once she starts showing signs of critical thinking and questioning Santa- we won't keep up the charade. We're not Christians, but even so, I want her to realize Christmas isn't actually about Santa and gifts- but this wonderful thing that a whole lotta people believe happened (and as Hindus- we're not saying it didn't). Santa was never a thing in our house growing up- but Christmas was still magical. Also eff the elf on the shelf- I think the whole thing is ridiculous and we won't be doing it.
Hahaha! "Eff the elf on the shelf!"
Hope you are feeling better, Julia. That Polar Express ride sounds amazing! Hope you all have a blast!
My mom typically made sure we knew the biggest gifts were from her and my dad, and Santa brought the accessories or matching gifts for the kids (he did bring bikes one year though ;)). Her reasoning was that she didn’t want my sister and I to go to school getting alllll big presents we wished for comparing with our friends, and then have kids with parents that couldn’t afford big things thinking “hey Santa didn’t grant my wish”. I don’t remember situations like that occurring, but I do appreciate the thought behind it, and it made the transition to “there is no Santa” way easier for kid me because the big gifts would still be there. ;) We still all believe though, because Santa is the spirit of giving!
The neighbor boy told my oldest that Santa wasn't real, so when she came to me and asked if that was true, I thought I'd better just tell her the truth. She was pretty devastated when I told her, and I realized we could have kept the Santa thing going for her. I think she was hoping for it. Now she loves being in on some of the extra stuff we have for her younger siblings.
St Nick comes on the 6th in our home and Santa brings something in the stocking Christmas morning. We have 6 kids and I do not want my kids to believe that just because they want something they can get it or we can afford it. St Nick is someone we can all look to as someone that gave not received something, we do not recall his recipients but we do remember him. We buy items for shoe boxes or families in need and we get to be "Santa" in this world. Our kids get 3 gifts just like the Wise Men brought the Christ child.
We tell our boys (ages 6 and 2) that Santa is a fun game people play at Christmas. For us, this strikes the right balance between being truthful with them while not ruining Christmas for people who do it differently.
We are a low-key Christmas family. For Christmas, our kids get four presents from us:
1. Something you want
2. Something you need
3. Something to wear (OR something I made - It varies year-to-year)
4. Something to read
Santa brings one gift and puts trinkets in the stockings. My kids are all non-believers, but I still do Santa because it is fun, and I love trying to surprise them.
And speaking of Santa, my daughter was born a skeptic. I am pretty sure she never believed in Santa. Her older brothers believed in the "possibility of Santa" for quite awhile. We neither confirmed nor denied his existence. :)
Julia - long ago when I taught first graders the subject of believing in Santa always came up and my answer was “in order to receive you must believe”! Work every time. Merry Christmas!