Single Mom

Chris left early Sunday morning.  Before the sun came up--but not before Greta got up.  "She's going through something."  I tell Chris and myself lately, as she rarely sleeps at all these days.  Chris headed off to the airport and I saw no reason to stay in bed if I wasn't going to be able to sleep any longer.  I packed up some things for Greta and I and we drove to Rexburg.

Greta slept good the first night.  Good, as in she only woke up twice.  All of the other nights, she was awake more often than she was asleep.  She slept a total of 3 hours (not consecutively) on the worst night and I felt like a zombie the next day.  She wasn't.  She was her happy, cheerful, incredibly active self.  I don't know how that is possible or how she does it.  I just keep telling myself, over and over again. "She's going through something."  I am raw from nursing her through the night, trying to help her calm down and in the morning--she is a different girl.  Maybe she is allergic to night.

And then there is bathtime, which I am convinced is impossible without two people.  Chris and I have such a routine down.  He preps the bath and I get Greta all undressed.  Then he scrubs and washes her hair and I make sure everything else is clean.  He gets the water ready to rinse her off and I unplug the tub and lift her up.  While I am wrapping her in a towel, he flips over her tub and hangs the rags to dry.  Then he puts lotion on her face and dries her hair while I put on a fresh diaper and lotion her body.  Chris usually starts beat-boxing to keep Greta from fidgeting while I get her onesie on and then I lift her up, he removes the towel and lays out her pjs.  He gets her arms in and I am in charge of legs.  I go to the nursery and get situated and he brings in Greta to me to nurse while he reads to us.  One person cannot do that by themselves!  I am convinced.

And who watches the baby when you need to go to the bathroom in a house with stairs?  And who watches the baby when you are unpacking/packing the car?  And how do you carry a baby, and diaper bag and leftovers from a lunch with your inlaws? And what about when your baby comes down with a fever and you don't feel so hot yourself, then what do you do?  And when do you eat? What about sleep?  How do you keep your eyes on the road when you need to check on your rear-facing child?

Now it is the end of the week.  Greta and I are back home.  And Chris will be here in 4 hours--around midnight.  I think we ALL had a rough week without eachother.  I feel like my bottom lip has been quivering all day just waiting for him to walk in the door so I can just start crying and he can give me a big hug and tell me that everything is okay now.  I don't know how single mothers do it.  Kudos to those moms and wives whose husbands travel a lot, or work or study long hours or days at a time.  I don't know how you do it.  I feel so defeated after just one week.  And yet, I feel so blessed to have such a hands-on dad as a husband.