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Truth Tuesday: A September Love Letter

September 11, 2012

We recently decided to dedicate some Tuesdays (when I remember) to the idea of exposing our home and of our lives in a truer light.

 Chris and I didn't have one of those whirlwind romances that resulted in an engagement 4 months later. We were friends for a long time.  Friends that went on a few dates in between our relationships with other people for over two years.  Often times we reflect back on those years and wonder why we never actually got together.  Made it official.  I mean, we are perfect for each other.  But then we realize, timing is everything and the timing was never quite right. Also, Chris insists he had to "mature."  Which I think means, had to get all the noncommittal make-out sessions out of his system.  We always had fun together (not that kind of fun) but we kept things casual and easy.
At the beginning of 2007,  I decided to leave the world behind--including family, friends, school, my full-ride scholarship and started serving an eighteen month mission for my church.  It was a personal choice to dedicate all of my time during those months to serving God and helping others.  Meanwhile, Chris, whom I had also left behind, was knee-deep in college life.  I was pretty certain that he would be moved on and married by the time I returned home, but I still decided to write to him occasionally while I was serving.

We're talking hand-written, snail mail letters.  Luckily, he was just as happy to write me back.  Our letters were very similar to our relationship I had left behind--easy, casual and laced with lots of humor.  And then, this September day 5 years ago, when I was a missionary for just 4 months, I got a letter from Chris.  In the midst of one his always-hilarious letters, there was this paragraph:

I'm not sure how appropriate this next paragraph is, but I'm gonna write it anyway.  I was dating a girl for while.  We were headed toward becoming somewhat serious. Then I got that last letter from you.  I couldn't stop comparing her to you. I hope this isn't awkward, I know you're a missionary and boy/girl relationships are the farthest thing from your mind. But I finally realized that as great as she was, she didn't make me laugh like you do. So I broke up with her a couple days ago. I think you've cursed me. I'll never get serious with a girl if I keep comparing them with you.

My heart definitely skipped a few beats as I read and re-read that paragraph.  We went on to write each other hundreds of more letters over the course of my mission (you can read the one where he told wrote me he loved me here) that now tell our story--we shared our testimonies, stories and thoughts with each other and fell in love through letters.  Fortunately, we both held on to every letter and were able to compile them into a book (I scanned all of the letters and made the book through Blurb.com) to read through.  Fall is always our favorite time to break out our book  because of excerpts like the one above.  We can read exactly what we were reading on the same day we read it X amount of years ago. And those exciting feelings all come back. Not everyone's love story is documented so well, so honestly, we feel blessed--in all accounts.
How did your love story play out?  Or maybe you're still writing that story.  Can we all agree that writing handwritten letters should make a serious come-back?
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  1. Awww! I love this! We met as kids in our church youth group and started our friendship there. We slowly became the best of friends and fell in love, then started dating a few years after that and got married after dating for 4 years. Being married really is the best thing ever :)

  2. I love you crazy love birds!!!

    You know our story. But I think stands out most about our love story is when I met Ryan, even though I dragged my feet for like 6 months before finally getting engaged, I knew that he was different from all the other boys I dated. I had that feeling like, I can't imagine my life without you and I don't know how I survived before knowing you. We met under circumstances where you couldn't just brush off. I was leaving on a mission. and he had just returned. Pretty sure I was the only girl in the singles ward anxiously waiting for the next missionary story to be told :-) We connected right away. It was pretty amazing.

    We were a part for 3-4 months of our engaged courtship and it was so much fun to keep in touch through emails, facebook messages, and phone calls. I don't even think he had texting! and forget about skype. we didn't have that either!! AND I was 2 hours ahead of schedule. So, he knows I fell asleep a lot on the phone at night.

    I love thinking about that time in our lives because we were such giggly love birds and I couldn't imagine my life without him. Now, I wish we could just go back in that time, with a sure knowledge that we WOULD actually in fact get married, and relive it. I was stressed, and too afraid to commit half the time.

    Anyways, you guys rock. :-)

  3. I love your love story! It must be unbelievably beautiful to have the beginning of your story documented through such personal letters to each other.

  4. I will try to sum up our story, in my kind of Italian English. :-)
    Our love story started 6/7 months after we met, and since the beginning we have sent to each other lots of funny and loving mails and sms, as laughing was an important part of our relationship too, and made me choose him again everyday and still now.
    After 2 month since the beginning of our relationship, we discovered he has a cancer in his throat and writing got even more important, even funny things, because trying to laugh in a moment of despair was very helpful.
    He had to go trough 2 throat surgeries in 1 year. And every day before the operation, during the operation itself and the following days, I've shared every thought and details with our friends and family in long emails...
    Then he had to go trough chemo for 2 months, and writing again was important, to support him above all, and because I gave him a letter and a present for each day of chemo.
    The cancer moved then into the lungs and he had to have 3 lungs surgeries.
    Between them our relationship got deeper and harder, but we both tried to have really good moments, showing each other real love, and having fun every time we could. We wrote to each other, even though we were seeing each other almost every day, but it's easier to write some time...and you can reach the feelings of someone easier..
    During all the lungs surgeries I have also sent frequent emails to our friends and family. my emails were also kind of funny, full of love, and optimism.
    During the last lung surgery, I also kept a diary of every moment, of every time we spoke with the doctors, for every important step, because I thought it will give him, and to me, to the strength to go ahead.. I've also tried to describe everything in a good light, in a funny way too, so he wouldn't too be sad reading it once back home..Because he was so sad for all the pain he was giving to his mom and me, despite of himself..
    But he never came back home, and never read this diary..he died 2 years and 7 month ago..
    He is still with me anyway and I have the chance to read some of our emails, and sms. It helps me thinking he's not that far away, and remembering every really good funny and loving moment..I can't read the diary though.
    So, this is our story..I know it's sad but also full of love, emails, and.. fun, and love! :-)

  5. Still writing mine... both figuratively and literally! I had just gotten out of a terrible, poisonous relationship. A new ward member (baptized after investigating the church entirely on his own!) was talking with my brother-in-law after church, so I went over to introduce myself and invite him to join our YSA group in going to the multi-stake YSA Valentine's dance that coming weekend.
    Fast-forward 18+ months - I'm almost done with school, he's working as a flight instructor in Boston, hoping to become a commercial airline pilot when he gets enough flight hours in through his current job. We write hand written letters, skype a few times a week, and miss each other a lot. Through a lot of prayer and fasting though, we know we are both on the right track in this relationship. We are taking it slow. I don't know how things will work out, but the Spirit tells me it will and I need not worry. I am so incredibly happy. (and I get to go see him soon and meet his parents!! :D)

    Don't you just love love?? :)

  6. It may seem odd to some people, but I actually still have every hand written note and email from my first love/high school boyfriend. We have both gone on and married other people, but I love that I can still go back and remember that exhilarating feeling of falling in love for the first time. I also figure someday if I have a daughter and she has her heart broken and feels like her world will end, I can show her that I had a deep, deep love that I lost and I came out better for it and found my real true love. Yes, handwritten letters are an amazing memento and I so wish they were still in style!

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