Congratulations. You’ve made it to the final week of #CLJSummerSchool, “How To Fall In Love With Your Home in 30 Days.” We’ve been on a journey to find love with our homes and I’m so excited to make it this far, because this is where we get to reap all the benefits of our hard-earned progress.
It’s time to open the doors of your home, invite someone over, and fall in love with your home even more.
I have to admit, I love hosting gatherings big and small. I love having one friend over or 45 family members! It’s just how I’ve always been, and when I really think about it, it’s because of the memories created in those moments (the laughs shared, inside jokes formed, sentiments given). It’s what made this move so scary at first–scared of losing the memories attached to our home, and it’s exactly why inviting someone over shouldn’t be delayed.
We’ve spent time decluttering, organizing, and cleaning in week 1, creating rituals to ground us in week 2, and last week we got out of our comfort zone, but in all honesty, you don’t have to do any of those things before inviting someone over. You don’t have to wait until your home is perfectly clean, or until you’ve created the perfect firepit moment in the backyard, and you most definitely don’t have to wait until your home is designed to your satisfaction before inviting people in. In fact, I highly encourage you to stop this perfectionist, restrictive thinking ASAP. It’s not serving you to wait until “the right moment,” because every time we spend near the ones we love the most, is the right moment. I mean that. I feel that, deeply.
However, I want to acknowledge that inviting someone over can be a really scary thing, especially if your home isn’t exactly in the state you want it to be in. It’s sort of an act of vulnerability because our homes typically represent us more than anything. Home is where we sleep, where we make and eat our meals, where we skip laundry day/week at times, but it’s also where we spend our time creating memories with our loved ones, and to invite someone in, takes courage. Your home can be spotless and pristine, and you still might have butterflies awaiting a guest because your home represents YOU.
I think Brene Brown had it right when she said,
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”
…and we do what Brene says!
Our homes can be the most personal things about us, but it’s also the easiest way to get to know someone. Every single time I decide to host someone or some thing at our house, I feel a surge of creativity, inspiration, and motivation. I’m reminding myself of all of these things in these early days at our new house. There’s boxes everywhere, we only have 2 chairs at our dining table, and our kitchen is non-existent, but making time to create memories during these early days is something we won’t regret making the time for.
This week, we’ll be talking about planning to have someone over. Start thinking about what that might look like for you and I’d love to hear testimonials in the comments from those of you who have opened your doors and you didn’t regret it!
We just moved and we don’t have anyone to invite over besides a few neighbors we barely know, which makes me feel extra vulnerable to host. Thank you for giving me the gentle nudge to do it anyway!
A few years ago, when we were living in our first home, I was so self-conscious that my house was too small, too out-dated, not stylish enough, etc etc. I read a book called Just Open The Door by Jen Schmidt and it changed my life! I started opening the door and we even decided to open our home to foster care (aka kids and a ton of random CPS workers coming and going). It was such a blessing and I realized that someone judging me for my home not being *perfect* said more about them than it did about me. I realized my fear had kept me from community many times and I was loving the freedom that came when we gave up that need to impress. Fast forward… we moved into our new house almost a year ago. It’s a major fixer-upper so of course it’s not the cutest thing (though we are working on it & are consistently inspired by you!), my kitchen is super outdated, but it still have everything we need for cooking, and we often have incomplete projects going all around the house… but a LOT more space for gathering. When we first moved in, I felt the need to get things completed but I swore I wouldn’t let the projects keep me from hosting so I started right away. I host a weekly book club, we host our church small group weekly, and so many other things! It’s been awesome and this is the most connected to others than we have felt in years. We realized our home is a resource to bless others, and it would rob us and others the joy of community by keeping our door shut because it’s not picture perfect or done. And I suppose I’ve learned that hospitality is mostly about the heart, the spirit of the home/family, and the feelings people feel and experiences they have when they are here.
I just moved and this resonates with me so much. I love having people over and currently my new apartment is no where near where I’d like it. But I have had so many friends come through or hangout just wanting to see my new place! It helped me feel more at home! It’s so encouraging when friends comment how much they like the new place. When new friends tell me my stuff is cool. It makes me realize “dang, it took time collecting these things that reflect me”. I fall in love with my pieces all over again.
I love that you have an entertaining week after the ritual week of summer school. Now that it feels safe to have people over again, I’ve kind of started building a ritual around entertaining. I start prep earlier than I think I need so I’m not stressed about finishing everything as everyone is arriving. I have a playlist of songs I love to sing along to-Queen, ABBA, Elton John, etc. and I turn that on and sing and dance while I’m prepping food. This ritual makes the event prep fun instead of stressful. By the time our guests arrive, I’m relaxed and excited from dancing around the kitchen. It’s been making hosting feel like even more of a gift :)
I love have my friends over and I love cooking for them. They love my chicken and dumplings. So one of the women named our group “The Dumplings”. I love to have them a small gift to take home with them.