I purge my closet at least twice a year, but I’m not always cutthroat about it. This time, coming out of winter, it’s different. I’m finally being honest with myself: If I didn’t wear it, I don’t need to save it. This newfound ruthlessness? I think it stems from a deeper desire to define my personal style.
I admire Allison Bornstein‘s philosophy (you may have heard me mention her before in Love Letter). She says that anyone can be fashionable, but not everyone has personal style. So much truth in that! I feel like I’ve nailed my interior design style – Moody Modern Traditional – but my clothing style feels less defined. Like with interior design, sometimes you need a professional to help you pull a look together. That’s why I’m considering working with a stylist to help me discover my signature style. I know what I want to look like; I just can’t seem to assemble the pieces.
People who know me recognize my different fashion personalities. They’d recognize that this outfit is “going-to-the-office Julie,” or that look is “going-to-church Julie” or there goes “casual-gym Julie.” It’s weighing on me. All that to say, this isn’t an advice piece; it’s just me sharing my current style identity crisis.
It’s funny: I’m very aware of my interior style, yet my clothing style feels so elusive. For example, I know I prefer an undone look with my hair and makeup. My hairdresser understands I don’t like anything too polished. Even with makeup: If I’m putting on mascara, I’m not going to wear lipstick. There’s a balance there. I don’t want to be mainstream; I prefer something a little off-the-cuff. I need this to translate to my wardrobe.
I’m easily influenced by fashion influencers. I see something I like, I buy it, and I might even like it on me. But it’s not my style! With home decor, I might appreciate bohemian or coastal design, but that doesn’t mean I should cram everything into one room. The same goes for my closet. It’s important to have fun with clothes, but I’m still searching for my own identity to shine through.
A key difference I’ve noticed between fashionable people and those with personal style is how they dress for different occasions. I’m already thinking about my trip to Italy in June. I’ve never been, and I’m so excited. But I have no idea what to pack! I can already picture myself trying to emulate what Italians are wearing. But I feel like that means I have no spine in my personal style!
I picture my clothing options as a Venn diagram. There’s what I like to wear but isn’t flattering, what I don’t like but photographs well, what I like and looks good on me, and what I don’t like and isn’t flattering. The first three are fine, but anything in that last category needs to go! Of course, not everything needs to be the most flattering. But it should make you feel like yourself.
Over time, I’ve realized I need more of some things and less of others. Comfort is key. I won’t wear uncomfortable shoes (though a heel doesn’t necessarily mean uncomfortable!). Part of that process involves understanding that comfortable shoes often require a bigger investment. I’m still a tennis shoes person for the most part—every day I just gravitate toward my Adidas!
Actually, I think my style is mostly casual. If I could wear the same thing every day, it would be perfectly fitting jeans, a denim top or loose tucked-in t-shirt, tennis shoes or boots, and a belt. I like wearing denim—I know that for sure. It takes me back to when I was a junior in high school and Express released tall jeans with a 37″ inseam. (What a dream!) They were the first jeans that didn’t look like high-waters on me. I got so many compliments!
Now, many brands offer tall and long lengths, but I still have that scarcity mindset. I’ve got jeans that range from $200 to $50 with plenty in the middle…but I keep collecting more when I see them in my length instead of finding THE one and sticking to it. To me, it’s about finding the perfect fit and feel over having a ton of options!
What I’ve realized is that I lack good basics. I have too many special occasion items. I could probably purge 50% of my tops! It’s time to invest in high-quality basics. I know I’m an autumn color palette, and while I generally stick to those colors, basics are a good place to experiment. I still haven’t fully adapted my wardrobe to life in North Carolina. I have too many heavy layers!
If I’m filling gaps in my wardrobe, I’ll invest in the best basic tops, pants, and a cool signature shoe. I’m researching those basics now and sharing my thoughts on my first “product test” tomorrow!
Regardless of what jean styles are “in” (I hope you kept those skinny jeans!), a straight-leg style – fitted at the top and loose around the ankle – always looks good. They’re a staple in my book. So, I’m going to try on all my jeans and only keep the ones that make me feel great. The rest? They’re gone. No more concessions!
Hmmm, this is such an interesting read! Loved hearing your thoughts on personal style. I just assumed that most of the inexpensive or even the expensive clothing you buy and photograph is so that you can link it as part of your income model? I guess I also assumed that. you gave most of it away to charity. Did not realize you kept it all form months or years.. Given that on average you link at least one item of clothing a day, I guess your closet must have been quite full!
It’s true — I link to my outfits with affiliate links! I never share products – clothing or otherwise – that I don’t love. Just like everyone, I continue to wear my favorites season after season. If you’ve been following for a while, you’ve probably heard me say, “This is last season,” or “I bought this a few years ago,” and then I’ll link something similar. When it’s time for a purge, it goes to charity.
Try Indyx! Its an app where you can load all of your clothes and then work w a stylist who can put together looks for you, travel capsule, etc. Its a little work up front to get all the clothes uploaded(you could have someone who works for you do it) but its simply magical and honestly has been sooo helpful for me to nail down my style and actually wear all the awesome clothes I already own. I love Allison too and she was at one point affiliated w Indyx I think.
Check out @paigerichardsonstyling! She’s great, in NC, and does travel packing consults!
I follow Charly Goss Stylists and have gotten their guides for years – they have so many great tips and options for filling in gaps in your wardrobe (specifically capsule items). They’re also personal stylists and you can book them for travel packing lists or closet purges and they’ll use clothes you already have. I need to do a big purge like this in the next few weeks so already curating styles I like on pinterest to help!
Hi Julia! I love this! I’m a fellow tall gal and recently purged my closet of all those items that “almost fit”. So long “just too short” sleeves and a “tad too short” pants! I’m curious to know, what are your go-to denim brands these days? Madewell is a staple but I”m eager to find more classic, not-too-narrow straight leg styles at a 34″+
inseams, even if they are slightly more expensive! Thank you!
My go-to jeans right now are Agolde Pinch Waist 90s Straight, Abercrombie High Rise 90s Relaxed Jean, and Citizens of Humanity Charlotte High Rise Straight!