Last week, we celebrated my mom’s 70th birthday at our house. Her brothers and sisters flew in, all of her kids (my sisters) were in town, and the grandkids joined as well. It was so fun to have everyone together! Seeing how happy my dad was to celebrate her —especially as he struggled with some health issues the last few years. That made us all misty-eyed.
For the party, we kept the Italy theme going — since we started the celebration a little early when we took my parents to Tuscany and Rome last month, and my mom’s side is Italian. But when it came to hosting the party, I did some things differently this time. Partially because it made things a little easier with this big of a group, but partially because we were able to get everyone more involved in the planning and day-of event, which made it feel more like a joint-party from all of her kids rather than one Chris & I were throwing by ourselves.
I feel like there are a lot of kids’ birthday party tips out there, but maybe not ones for adults or “senior” generations. So I’ll share tips of what we did that went well!
1. Answer the Questions: Who, What, Where, When, & How Much
- Who’s Invited: The first thing to decide is how many people to invite — and always think of your honoree. My mom is not someone who would want 200 people at a party, so we kept it a pretty tight invite list of those closest to the family.
- What to Wear: Always provide clear guidance on the dress code (e.g., “dressy casual” or “dress like that decade”). And make sure guests know whether it’s an outdoor or indoor party! This helps everyone feel comfortable and appropriately dressed. My mom actually brought an outfit change, which was a fun surprise.
- Where: If hosting outdoors, plan for potential issues like bugs and rain. We had tabletop fans and citronella torches going to reduce the flies (more tips in this post!). I have to admit I was stressed about this one, as it started to rain JUST BEFORE the party started. The alternative we had planned would be to add the leaves to the dining room table inside and include the island stools as seating. It could have worked, but fortunately the rain stopped quickly, and the show went on outdoors!
- When: I’m a bit of an outlier here, but I like to have people’s birthday parties on their actual birthdays—regardless of the day. Older people may be retired or have more flexible schedules, so that makes it easier. So my mom’s party was on a Wednesday! A lot of family flew into town and stayed through the weekend, which allowed us to have more time together.
- How Much: Be mindful of your budget and where it makes the most sense to allocate it. The party can be as extravagant or simple as you want it to be. (Consider what your guest of honor would prefer!) You can spend a lot on florals and custom cakes and save on food by making it yourself. Or you can go our route and pick up grocery store flowers and cakes and spend more on catering. Make sure everyone contributing financially is comfortable with the plan.
2. Rent a Venue or Rent for Your Venue at Home
Dining Chairs | Tablecloth (rented – similar) | Dinner Plate | Salad Plate | Napkin | Napkin Ring | Flatware | Highball Glasses | Stemmed Coupe Glass (similar) | Stemmed Glasses | Place Cards | LED Lamp
- Consider Renting Seating: As soon as we decided to host the party outdoors, and we knew how many people were coming, we decided to rent tables, chairs, and even tablecloths. It felt like a huge weight off our shoulders. We don’t have to worry about how to seat or host all of these people! And it was relatively inexpensive. The company we used offered drop-off, setup, and pickup services, eliminating the need for us to order extra things or wash anything afterward.
- Embrace Catering: Even though Chris loves to cook, we chose to cater the party. We picked our parents’ favorite local Italian restaurant, which had a minimum catering order of 30 people. We had 25 people, so we knew there would be extras. What I didn’t realize was that they allotted two Chicken Parmesans per person (kids included!), so let’s just say we had plenty of food. The best part? The caterer came back with clamshell boxes to box up and label for everyone to take home. If you’re doing drop-off catering with no pickup, then have some to-go boxes on hand so you aren’t left with a lot of food that will go to waste. For drinks, we had water and a bunch of the San Pellegrino Ciao drinks, which were perfect with the Italian theme.
3. “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
Balloons | Frame | Easel | Food Fans | Gingham Tablecloth (similar)
- Delegate Tasks Pre-Party: Before the party day, delegate tasks like picking up flowers, balloons, or specific dessert items to different family members or friends. Use Venmo or Paypal to make it easy to pay your co-hosts or couriers back.
- Test TVs, Mics & Speakers: If you’re having music or toasts, ensure the microphone and speaker setup is tested well in advance, especially if outdoors. We got a microphone that didn’t really work well with the speaker, which I wish we had tried earlier! We did use the portable TV outside to show family pictures from over the years, and that was fun to wheel around for everyone to see and enjoy.
- Create a Day-Of Schedule: This is where I really shine, and what makes party planning so much less stressful for me. I created a detailed schedule for the party day, breaking it down into blocks (morning, afternoon, hour before the party). I assigned specific setup tasks to family and friends who are helping. For example: “Morning block: pick up flowers, balloons, cookies. Afternoon block: sisters help set tables, arrange flowers. Hour before: start music, light candles, change outfits.” Share this schedule in your Notes app or via text with everyone involved so you’re all on the same page. (My list is below)
4. Don’t Forget Dessert
- Get What They Like: My mom loves the Berry Chantilly Cake from Whole Foods, so we called ahead of time and said we would have 25 people. They offered a sheet cake, but we wanted the stacked rounds. The biggest one feeds up to 16 people, so we ordered two rounds. Even though they’re in the bakery case, Whole Foods said those do sell out quickly, so either order ahead of time or get there early. If your guest loves ice cream over cake, then by all means have an ice cream sundae bar instead!
- Add a Personal Touch: Beyond the cake, consider adding a personal or regional touch. For our party, we included a “cookie table” from a local bakery, which is a beloved Pittsburgh (our hometown) tradition. We kept the cookies out all evening, not just for dessert, for guests to enjoy anytime they needed a little snack. And then the cakes were the big reveal! You could also include snacks that were popular or introduced during their birth year. My mom loves Good & Plenty candy—that could have been a fun a party favor!
5. Engage Guests & Delegate Tasks
Tablecloth (rented – similar) | Dinner Plate | Salad Plate | Napkin | Napkin Ring | Flatware | Highball Glass | Stemmed Goblet (similar) | Place Cards | LED Lamp
- Assign Roles to Willing Helpers: Many guests, especially if they deeply care for the person being celebrated, will want to be involved in the party. This is a gift to you, the host! You can assign small tasks throughout the event. This could include setting out place cards, lighting citronella torches, monitoring food levels, circulating with breadsticks, bringing out the candle-lit cake, or even giving a toast. This creates a sense of involvement and lightens your load.
- Designate an MC: We bought a microphone for the toasts and speeches—and my uncle Victor’s parody song he wrote about mom that the sisters all performed with him. While tempting to take on the MC role as the host, consider assigning this to someone with a strong, projecting voice (which is not me!), especially if your party is outdoors. If you have at least 20 people at party, a good MC is crucial for making announcements and guiding the flow of the events.
- Put Someone on Photo Duty: Even if you’re hiring a photo booth, assign a family member or friend to be in charge of candid photos. While the photo booth photos are fun take-homes, these are going to be the ones that evoke the most memories of the day for everyone!
6. Curate the Atmosphere with Music & Decor
- Strategic Music Playlists: We had music for every different “segment” of the party! There was one playlist for dinner. There was another playlist to encourage dancing (lots of Motown!). My sister, Andi, was in charge of all the music (that’s her specialty), and she emailed all the guests ahead of the party to ask for suggestions. “If you can think of a song that mom likes, send it to me!” So all of mom’s favorite songs were on the playlist.
- Effortless Decorations: Choose a simple theme and stick to it. We opted for a light blue color scheme with blue florals, inspired by tablecloths we rented. We grabbed a bunch of blue hydrangeas from Trader Joe’s to complete the look.
- Fun Photo Opportunities: A photo booth can be a massive hit, especially if guests have traveled to attend. It provides an instant party favor, so everyone can take home printed memories on the spot. We also found that oversized numerical balloons from Michael’s (e.g., “70” for a 70th birthday or the year the person was born) were a great backdrop for the cake moment.
- Note-Writing Station: For a no-gifts party like this one, we set up a birthday card writing station. Provide cards or nice paper and pens so guests can write personal notes (I used this set!). Now my mom has all these handwritten cards from her kids and grandkids, and that’s really what she loves best. She always says, “Just write me a card” when I ask about birthday presents!
Stationery Set | Bowl | Notecards
My dad turns 70 in January, and I’m already trying to plant the seed for us to go on a trip! Even though throwing a party is so fun, leading up to it can be stressful — it’s hard not to feel like you’re juggling a lot of balls in the air. But it meant so much to see my mom so loved and celebrated by our family. I’m going to remind myself of what went well the next time we’re hosting! The key is to plan and delegate, so you enjoy the celebration with your guests, and that’s exactly what happened. Happy 70th birthday, mom!
I hope you don’t mind me asking but what is the name of the local Italian restaurant that you used for catering the party?
Thank you, Ruth
We used Daniel’s in Apex!
For those who have not entertained in a formal yet fun and beautiful gathering of some kind this is and was a perfect example to love and follow. Simple and elegant was the setting, tables and food1! PERFECT!!!. For those who hesitate to expand their imagination, begin small. Could be a table of 4 or six. The example in this setting not everyone has, yet everyone who has the desire to celebrate with others can use what one has and use ones imagination. Outdoors or indoors, just love what you are doing.
Just a lovely event! Would love to know your menu.
Beautiful party! Between the blue and white table cloths and your gorgeous back drop of white hydrangeas and most importantly the huge smile on your Mom’s face. Thanks for the inspiration- no time like the present to celebrate family. Your to-do list was great! Many thanks!💕
The advice is great for any age adult party not just us “older” adults. Happy Birthday to your beautiful mother!
So true!